Feeling lonely? You're not alone. In fact, far from it.

About half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness, according to a 2023 report from U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy. Loneliness, however, isn't just a state of mind — it's a subjective and distressing experience that can have a profound impact on physical health, too.

A lack of social connection — whether a perceived dissonance or an objective lack thereof — is associated with increased risk of disease, stroke, anxiety, depression and dementia. Altogether, social disconnection increases the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day — just a few short of a pack a day.

On one hand, the COVID-19 pandemic shone a needed light on mental health, transforming how we view it and emphasizing its importance to our wellbeing. On the other, it's provided structures for society to become even more isolated than before, says Dr. William Orme, a psychologist at Houston Methodist.

"Social isolation has become more normalized after the pandemic," says Dr. Orme. "If a person wants to be completely isolated yet still function, they could. They could have their groceries delivered. They could work from home and avoid socializing. They wouldn't have to see a single person."

"But I think it's also reinforced how deeply we as humans want and actually need connection," he adds.

America has a loneliness epidemic, according to the surgeon general, and it will require us as a society to mend our fraying social fabric. However, there are steps you can take on an individual level that can help you feel less lonely and create meaningful social connections, says Dr. Orme.

What is loneliness, anyway?

"Loneliness is the experience when the level of social connection someone wants is less than what they're actually getting," says Dr. Orme. "Some people experience the most profound loneliness when they're around other people. It's as almost if they have a front row seat to what they want, but they don't feel connected at all."

Here, Dr. Orme is referring to loneliness's subjective nature — what loneliness looks like to one person can be completely different than someone else's version. Both someone with lots of friends and someone with very few friends can experience equal levels of loneliness.

On the other hand, social isolation is objective and is measured by a person's lack of social connections. Measuring social connection is vast and complex, but there are four main factors that contribute to a person's overall social profile:

• Individual characteristics we have (personality, race, gender, life stage, etc.)
• Relationships we hold (number, variety and quality, etc.)
• Communities in which we live (work, school, housing, outdoor space, etc.)
• Society in which we find ourselves (values, public policy, historical inequity, etc.)

While we can't necessarily control factors like the society we live in, we do have the power to make connections and build meaningful relationships. As these opportunities to engage with people go up, says Dr. Orme, the likelihood of experiencing loneliness goes down.

With that in mind, here are five tips to consider if you're feeling lonely and want some ideas to create more meaningful connections in your life.

5 tips for coping with loneliness and building social connection

1. Cut back on social media or consider a 'cleanse'

It might seem counterintuitive to cut back on something with "social" in its name, but according to a U.S.-based study cited in the surgeon general's report, those who used social media more than two hours a day doubled their odds of reporting increased perceptions of social isolation compared to those who used social media for less than 30 minutes daily.

Such is the danger that the surgeon general in a separate 2024 report called on Congress to require tobacco-like warning labels on social media platforms to increase awareness of the risks they pose, especially for younger people. The hope: that such labels could change behavior, like how warning labels on cigarettes have helped curb smoking behaviors.

A social media cleanse or detox is a temporary break from using apps like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and X — and can be "really beneficial" to your overall mental health, says Dr. Orme.

"A break or cleanse from social media is definitely worth considering and up to each person," says Dr. Orme. "Some people are OK with being intentional about using social media, setting goals and sticking to those goals."

One goal, for instance, can be using an app only once per day and no more. But if that doesn't work, and it feels like social media is just too time-consuming, Dr. Orme says, taking a step back for a time can be valuable.

"It's almost become normal to take a cleanse," he says. "Social media's one of those phenomena that's taken a while to understand. It's a new cultural moment, so understanding how people relate to and use it has taken some time."

(Related: Being an Introvert: 5 Things You've Probably Wondered About Yourself, Explained)

2. Know where you are on the 'stages of change' model

The stages of change, or transtheoretical, model is a theory of therapy that assesses an individual's readiness to act on a new and healthy behavior. Usually most associated with substance use — such as alcohol — the model has relevance for most behavioral changes that someone might want to make, says Dr. Orme. Say, for instance, being less lonely and making more social connections.

The five stages of change are:

1. Pre-contemplation – there's a problem, but I'm not interested in changing or ready for help
2. Contemplation – begin to weigh the pros and cons of modifying their behavior
3. Preparation – determined change is needed and research how they can change their behavior
4. Action – people begin to change their behavior
5. Maintenance – steps to avoid sliding back into old habits

"It's a process people must go through with these different stages where they can start to see the ways their behavior or lack thereof can affect them," says Dr. Orme. "People may start by thinking about their loneliness more. Then they start reckoning with the costs that might be associated with doing something different."

"If I get out and socialize, I might be anxious or meet people I don't like," may cross people's mind as they reckon with this change, Dr. Orme says. Eventually, someone ready for change, Dr. Orme adds, might say to themselves, "I think it's worth it, because I can't keep living in a way that's hurting my health."

"When people begin to understand the health costs associated with loneliness, it may provide a bit more motivation to seek out social interaction," he says.

(Related: Coping with Anxiety: How Do You Know If You're Handling It Well?)

3. Understand that you're not alone in this

While it might sound clichéd to say "you're not alone" to someone experiencing loneliness, take a moment to look around you. Statistically, one in two people are also experiencing some type of loneliness. It's just not obvious or something that a lot of people talk about, says Dr. Orme.

"I think people sometimes feel ashamed to talk about feeling lonely, isolated or not having many friends," he says. "There's something in our culture that says you should have a wide circle of friends with lots of connections. So to talk about how that's not really your circumstance is embarrassing for some people. It's hard to talk about, but just appreciating that experiencing loneliness is much more normal than people realize and that they're not alone is important."

You aren't alone.

4. Join a club or group in person or online

As Dr. Orme mentions, the likelihood of you experiencing loneliness goes down as the opportunities to connect go up. A great way to accomplish this, he says, is through joining groups based on shared interests, including:

• Book clubs
• Movie clubs
• Running clubs
• Religious organizations

One place to find such groups is Meetup, an online platform designed for individuals to come together as groups around a shared interest, like books, movies or running. The platform offers the option to join in-person groups or virtual ones that convene communities across the nation and world.

5. Consider group psychotherapy

"When a lot of us think about therapy, we think of individual therapy, but there's also something called group psychotherapy, which can be very helpful to feel more connected and be curious about the ways they relate to themselves and others," says Dr. Orme.

Group therapy typically involves a small group of individuals who meet under the guidance of a professionally trained therapist to share their problems and help one another. Whether virtual or in-person, it's something that Dr. Orme often recommends to patients who experience and struggle with loneliness.

When to seek professional help

Besides these five tips, lots of things can affect how often you experience loneliness — from adequate sleep to what you eat and, of course, how often you exercise. But what happens if you try all that to no avail or you just can't do it on your own? When does loneliness become too lonely?

"When it comes to seeking out a therapist, it's when the feeling of loneliness has produced a level of distress that's now getting in the way of a person living life, and that's subjective for each person," Dr. Orme says. "Maybe they're feeling a sense of ennui and don't have the drive to get going, they're unfulfilled, they're not taking care of themselves, or their work performance is suffering."

"When people start to feel lonely, they tend to try out different things," he adds. "If trying out other things like increasing social connections and decreasing social media use doesn't help resolve the distress, then I think it would be appropriate to see a therapist."